Moments with Me

I'm a Recovering WANT Addict My pup Stout a few years ago I overheard someone say "I WANT that puppy!" when looking through photographs of puppies. The context was playful, because they do have animals of their own already, but expressed the words so as to emphasize the puppies cuteness and appreciation of them. This opened up an interesting point within me when I heard the words "I WANT that puppy!", the sound in which it was said together with the facial expressions. It took me back to my childhood as well as looking at myself, relationships and life in the present. I looked at how, as children - we were so quick to say "I WANT" due to not having any education / understanding of responsibilities and obligations tied to money and practicality. Interestingly enough, this is a hole we may be still fall into that we dig for ourselves to this day… Let me share and show what I mean with the above. The moment the individual spoke the...

A Journey with and through a Room How a room transformed me, my relationships and my life I am 31. This is my age, yes – but not my definition, my self definition. When you hear me, and within hearing me, also  know me – you will know that when I say “I am 31” I merely speak of age and time, not who I AM as a person within myself. I have for some time been exposed to individuals who define who they are according to age. “I am this / that age – I must be married, have kids, have a place of my own, be ready to retire…” and the list goes on… I oftentimes imagine seeing people who speak like this as a rat in a cage, running on a wheel – the wheel representing age and time, running in circles in their own minds and lives to catch up to time, yet not realising they are creating their relationship with time and age in their minds in the first place!!! Honestly, I have accepted and allowed myself to – (because of how some closest to me in my life, even those who I ha...

...for now, I am FEAR. I’ve been consumed by fear. Fear has become me. Fear attached to everyone and everything that became a part of me, came close with me. I didn’t realise the extent to which fear preoccupied my everyday life thoughts and general experience…showing itself through constant, continuous inner and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness and tension. Until I stepped back and ask myself: who am I within and as the word FEAR? I feared losing money. I feared having nothing. I feared losing my pups. I feared losing where I live. I feared losing everyone I lived with / walked a path with. I feared losing my partner. I feared losing everyone I met in my life…I feared dying sooner than I felt I needed to, I feared leaving this world before I had the chance / opportunity to do and say everything I felt I had to, I needed to. So much fear, all the time, coming up in random moments in my everyday life. Seemingly dispersed in random moments throughout my day, t...

A Moment with a Thorn (continued) This video is a continuation and expansion of my previous post: A Moment with a Thorn   Sometimes we learn about ourselves, relationships and life itself through simple realisations and insights – supporting us in our journey / process of self change. Though, there are the moments where we learn the hard way…lessons about ourselves, relationships and life that we do sometimes need to learn and realise in a way that gives us a proper wake up call so as to ensure we get it, we got it, we see it through and we change.

A Moment with a Thorn This little one – as small as it is, with its sharpness - contributed to much pain in my foot. Here’s me with one of my “I’m not impressed” expressions directed at the thorn. Yet, this moment with the thorn assisted and supported me with a moment of awareness. As much as the thorn caused my foot / body pain – it’s not the thorn that’s wholly to blame. By breathing and moving through the pain, as well as the blame, I’m reminded of how such momentary ‘accidents’ actually speaks volumes of my relationship between my mind, being and body. To read more…follow the link in the comments box. Enjoy! I was walking one afternoon to look at the fig trees blossoming, calculating the timing of when I’m able to indulge in some figs and get there before the birds get most of them! I have to, due to the birds, calculate my time of observing and picking them so that I can also have a share! There is a huge Fever tree (Koorsboom in Afrikaans) right by the fig tree I...

A Lesson with Nature: Moving with Awareness vs Memory Movement This video is based on the post below: Nature, me, music, pups keeping me company together with Kim Amourette...made for a great morning as everyone on the farm put in a couple of hours to tend to various farm projects and general upkeep. Fascinating also to observe the insect life while I was digging out the old compost around the immediate surrounding areas of the trees to prepare for new fresh compost to be placed...even had me a couple of good (meaning painful!!!) bites from some red ants. Taking me back to childhood memories of being unaware and sitting on a red ants nest lol Reminding me of practical awareness: to move slow, gently removing the old compost in such a way that I give myself and the insects the necessary space and time to move while for a moment having to disturb their habitat with the changes from the old compost to the new. I got bitten by some red ants because I was moving too fast while c...

Remaining consistent through the Ups and Downs Sometimes I've faced days where my general mood / experience goes through ups and downs. Other times my body goes through pains / discomforts (such as for example during periods / body not agreeing with food leading to nausea and diarrhoea / the flu starting to rear its head) leading to a physical experience of ups and downs during a day. Yes, we all go through ‘general’ ups and downs when it comes to your inner experience and physical experience during a day – but not to the extent where it influences / affects your daily responsibilities / priorities. Sometimes, it does occur that your inner / physical experiences affects your daily responsibilities and priorities; but most are in such a state of survival and dependency on work and money: there is no ‘space and time’ to ‘indulge’ in the inner and physical experience and so push through ‘em no matter what. Only giving yourself the time and space ‘allowed’ over weekends or...

Time cycles, Emotion and Me Ever been in an experience where you ‘wake up’ inside yourself realising you have been caught up in a negative spin in your thoughts and emotions, accepting and allowing the worry and stress of everything going wrong inside yourself and your life getting too much to handle…but more specifically realising you have forgotten about so many ‘good’ things still existing about you, your life. This leading to a point where you ask yourself: where have I been? What have I done to myself? Why have I allowed this for so long? Why have I missed so much about me and my life that’s actually quite good / okay? But then…you TRY and focus on the ‘good’ / ‘positive’ while still processing the worry / stress of your mind and everyday life; not only that: as you continue ‘walking through life’ with each day bringing NEW and MORE challenges to deal with…you soon enough start realising that ‘remembering the good / okay’ becomes more and more difficult. Eventually,...

When is enough, enough? One thing in most of my life has been a constant: creating consequence. There was always an imbalance in this relationship between consequence, LEARNING from miss-takes and actually CHANGING within myself. I own up to the fact that even still, to this day, I make miss-takes and it does sometimes take me longer to fundamentally change what is needed. I ‘know’ within myself I have the ability and capacity to implement this transfer from problem to solution, from consequence to learning to changing much FASTER…yet have still accepted and allowed myself to substantiate ‘problems and consequence’ more within myself. Not realising that, I will face resistance to substantiate / focus more on solutions, on the process of learning and actually changing. Why Resistance? With change comes Resistance – especially change from ‘bad to good’ for some reason. Meaning, I oftentimes ask myself: why is it sooooooooooooooooo EASY to participate in emotions, to create con...

Reaping the Rewards of another's Journey to Success The video above was inspired by the following posts below - detailing Kim Amourette's journey through her Failures (miss-takes) into the Successes (through re-takes / trying again) when it came to baking Meringues and Choc-Chip Meringue burgers. The video above shares how her process, also contributed to many other people's lives, yes in terms of sweet indulgences lol - but how the principle of her experience can be pulled through into many other contexts in one's general life experience. Enjoy! Homemade meringues. It took me a while to get these the way I wanted them but by enjoying the process of experimenting and altering variables to understand what works and what doesn't, I managed to create something despite initially not seeing or understanding how to do it. This I found is one of the keys to creating or manifesting something, is to trust that you have the ability to create anything as long ...