Moments with Me

...for now, I am FEAR. I’ve been consumed by fear. Fear has become me. Fear attached to everyone and everything that became a part of me, came close with me. I didn’t realise the extent to which fear preoccupied my everyday life thoughts and general experience…showing itself through constant, continuous inner and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness and tension. Until I stepped back and ask myself: who am I within and as the word FEAR? I feared losing money. I feared having nothing. I feared losing my pups. I feared losing where I live. I feared losing everyone I lived with / walked a path with. I feared losing my partner. I feared losing everyone I met in my life…I feared dying sooner than I felt I needed to, I feared leaving this world before I had the chance / opportunity to do and say everything I felt I had to, I needed to. So much fear, all the time, coming up in random moments in my everyday life. Seemingly dispersed in random moments throughout my day, t...

A Moment with a Thorn (continued) This video is a continuation and expansion of my previous post: A Moment with a Thorn   Sometimes we learn about ourselves, relationships and life itself through simple realisations and insights – supporting us in our journey / process of self change. Though, there are the moments where we learn the hard way…lessons about ourselves, relationships and life that we do sometimes need to learn and realise in a way that gives us a proper wake up call so as to ensure we get it, we got it, we see it through and we change.

A Lesson with Nature: Moving with Awareness vs Memory Movement This video is based on the post below: Nature, me, music, pups keeping me company together with Kim Amourette...made for a great morning as everyone on the farm put in a couple of hours to tend to various farm projects and general upkeep. Fascinating also to observe the insect life while I was digging out the old compost around the immediate surrounding areas of the trees to prepare for new fresh compost to be placed...even had me a couple of good (meaning painful!!!) bites from some red ants. Taking me back to childhood memories of being unaware and sitting on a red ants nest lol Reminding me of practical awareness: to move slow, gently removing the old compost in such a way that I give myself and the insects the necessary space and time to move while for a moment having to disturb their habitat with the changes from the old compost to the new. I got bitten by some red ants because I was moving too fast while c...

Forgive and Forget When I was young, I took the words “forgive and forget” literally – where I actually tried to forget, completely erase a memory from within myself lol until I started understanding how memories in the mind and my relationship to them works. When I understood this, I finally understood the power I have when it comes to my relationship with myself, my memories and so experiences with others in my life. In this video – I share my process with the words “forgive and forget” and how the words have come to support me in changing myself and my relationship with others. 

From Challenges to Breakthroughs - the Process of Self Change From clapping hands, to high-fives, to blowing kisses…now learning to do the fist bump with the word “boom” afterwards lol This little dude is learning so fast in this phase of his developmental process. What’s been standing out for me in his process of learning is how much and how fast he processes information. Sometimes he gets it immediately, especially when it’s something he hasn’t done before like the fist bump. Other times he takes some time, for instance: we tried show ing him how to eat spaghetti by holding the string with your lips and sucking it in – but he’d already become accustomed to using both hands and instead stuffing it in his mouth and has stuck to that…for the moment lol In observing his process I looked at process in general in terms of the extent to which we ingrained patterns of thinking, reacting and behaving - that it takes time to change them as they’ve become so much part of ...

Giving Up in a Moment vs. Standing through the Moment Sometimes a point inside yourself in relation to something / someone seems so BIG, the problem so intertwined with many memories / emotions that you don’t know how to deal with it, what to do about it or who you are in relation to it. I have faced this many times in my life in relation to so many different things – interestingly enough, one thing I learnt was the following: the times I did decide to give up – which was usually done by either walking away from someone / a person and/or just not completing a project / task…that I’d in the future come to face the EXACT SAME problem in a different, yet similar enough way for me to recognise it and go “oh shit, here it is again!” So, when I started walking process – understanding who I am in relation to giving up together with all the past regrets of walking away / giving up: I changed myself to – whenever I am in a situation or experience with something / someone wh...

A Moment of Focus Today I looked at the word FOCUS, reminding me of this photo. Stout, intently focusing himself on something is not only seen in his eyes, but his total presence coming through in the photo. Focus on yourself, priorities and responsibilities is something you can slowly lose as your focus shifts into thoughts and emotions in the Mind...entertaining fears in the Mind over time can do this especially well. I've realised one cannot be as focused and so disciplined to one's utmost potential, while having an effective balance between play and work...as long as one is in a constant emotional state that starts taking over and taking precedence over self and ones everyday life experience. So, when you start noticing things slacking or being postponed in your life...get that focus and balance back by taking responsibility for what's going on inside yourself before it takes over you and your life. I have personally walked through such a pro...