A Journey with and through a Room: Moments of Breakthrough

A Journey with and through a Room

How a room transformed me, my relationships and my life

I am 31. This is my age, yes – but not my definition, my self definition. When you hear me, and within hearing me, also  know me – you will know that when I say “I am 31” I merely speak of age and time, not who I AM as a person within myself.

I have for some time been exposed to individuals who define who they are according to age. “I am this / that age – I must be married, have kids, have a place of my own, be ready to retire…” and the list goes on…

I oftentimes imagine seeing people who speak like this as a rat in a cage, running on a wheel – the wheel representing age and time, running in circles in their own minds and lives to catch up to time, yet not realising they are creating their relationship with time and age in their minds in the first place!!!

Honestly, I have accepted and allowed myself to – (because of how some closest to me in my life, even those who I have developed relationships with for many years) indulge in the idea / concept of “rushing / revolving my whole self / life into creating a life only for me as in a family”. Not projecting blame, but their selves in words and behaviour did trigger some wants, needs and desires on an emotional level within myself that I faced, reflected on and walked through. Therefore I am grateful for what I have been exposed to as it did strengthened and deepened my resolve and stand within who I am and why I am here, doing what I do, living who I am and what I do.

I am not someone ‘new’ to having to give up myself, my life and wants, needs and desires for who I am and what I do – for myself and everyone else. I have, however – created a ‘middle ground’ for myself, within myself and everything / everyone in my life. This ‘middle ground’ is where I create a BALANCE with me and everyone / everything else. It’s taken some time. It may challenge me for some time to come indeed. Yet, the question I am always in all ways and many ways possibly to be challenged with is: Are you standing for self interest – creating only your wants, needs and desires (like the world / money system / global consciousness / mind consciousness system is asking) OR are you standing for life, equality and oneness, supporting NOT ONLY YOU but others as well IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT to make an IMPACT / DIFFERENCE / CHANGE in this world for this generation and/or generations to come?

It’s a tough question.

Am I living ONLY FOR ME?

Or

Am I living for ME in consideration of others equally with and as ME?

What does this mean? And how can my process with and through a room, a process I walked for me with my partner – assist and support with understanding this?

Find out in the next blog and blogs to come!

*This process I dedicate to my partner, his family. Those living with me day in and day out on the farm - those who have passed (Bernard and Grace) and those still here - both humans and animals. I could not have done this without you. Always in gratitude, for always.