...for now, I am FEAR.
...for now, I am FEAR.
I’ve been consumed by fear. Fear has become me. Fear attached to everyone and everything that became a part of me, came close with me. I didn’t realise the extent to which fear preoccupied my everyday life thoughts and general experience…showing itself through constant, continuous inner and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness and tension.
Until I stepped back and ask myself: who am I within and as the word FEAR?
I feared losing money. I feared having nothing. I feared losing my pups. I feared losing where I live. I feared losing everyone I lived with / walked a path with. I feared losing my partner. I feared losing everyone I met in my life…I feared dying sooner than I felt I needed to, I feared leaving this world before I had the chance / opportunity to do and say everything I felt I had to, I needed to.
So much fear, all the time, coming up in random moments in my everyday life. Seemingly dispersed in random moments throughout my day, the week, weeks and months of my life…until I asked myself something: WHY in all the FEARS of LOSS I am accepting and allowing to exist within…does the FEAR of LOSING ME not exist???
I listed all my fears. Nowhere did the ‘fear of losing myself’ come in, it didn’t even register. Until I saw, within myself, that: I had already ‘lost myself’ in a way. I lost myself in FEAR. I lost myself in FEAR of losing everything and everyone else. Defining who I am, defining my personality, behaviour in a way of yearning to ‘protect’ everything and everyone I feared losing. Who I am in thought, word and deed became about preventing, controlling – my fear of loss, not realising: I lost myself.
Who am I without fear of loss? Who am I without the emotional experience of FEAR? Here, emphasising that I am not speaking of our natural human instinct of fear when it comes to being in life-threatening moments. I am speaking of the EMOTIONAL, the MENTAL fears we create through THINKING and ENERGY.
I will leave you with this for the moment. In videos to come in Self and Living / EQAFE I will expand on what changes when you STOP FEAR OF LOSS, you STOP EMOTIONAL FEAR and learn to LIVE HERE in equality with yourself and everything and everyone in your life. It opens up the SPACE for SELF CREATION for you and others…what this means, you’ll hear in the videos soon to come.
VIDEO 1: From Fear to Self Creation: