...for now, I am FEAR.

...for now, I am FEAR.



I’ve been consumed by fear. Fear has become me. Fear attached to everyone and everything that became a part of me, came close with me. I didn’t realise the extent to which fear preoccupied my everyday life thoughts and general experience…showing itself through constant, continuous inner and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness and tension.

Until I stepped back and ask myself: who am I within and as the word FEAR?

I feared losing money. I feared having nothing. I feared losing my pups. I feared losing where I live. I feared losing everyone I lived with / walked a path with. I feared losing my partner. I feared losing everyone I met in my life…I feared dying sooner than I felt I needed to, I feared leaving this world before I had the chance / opportunity to do and say everything I felt I had to, I needed to.

So much fear, all the time, coming up in random moments in my everyday life. Seemingly dispersed in random moments throughout my day, the week, weeks and months of my life…until I asked myself something: WHY in all the FEARS of LOSS I am accepting and allowing to exist within…does the FEAR of LOSING ME not exist???

I listed all my fears. Nowhere did the ‘fear of losing myself’ come in, it didn’t even register. Until I saw, within myself, that: I had already ‘lost myself’ in a way. I lost myself in FEAR. I lost myself in FEAR of losing everything and everyone else. Defining who I am, defining my personality, behaviour in a way of yearning to ‘protect’ everything and everyone I feared losing. Who I am in thought, word and deed became about preventing, controlling – my fear of loss, not realising: I lost myself.

Who am I without fear of loss? Who am I without the emotional experience of FEAR? Here, emphasising that I am not speaking of our natural human instinct of fear when it comes to being in life-threatening moments. I am speaking of the EMOTIONAL, the MENTAL fears we create through THINKING and ENERGY.


I will leave you with this for the moment. In videos to come in Self and Living / EQAFE  I will expand on what changes when you STOP FEAR OF LOSS, you STOP EMOTIONAL FEAR and learn to LIVE HERE in equality with yourself and everything and everyone in your life. It opens up the SPACE for SELF CREATION for you and others…what this means, you’ll hear in the videos soon to come. 

-------------



VIDEO 1: From Fear to Self Creation:


Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 31, 2016 at 12:29 PM

    Gracias Susan ! por la traduccion. ! Lo entendi perfectamente y lo comparto . Antes de yo conocer Desteni, vivia llena de temor por todo lo que pasaba en el mundo y por los seres que eran violentos y danaban a los demas;en una palabra el miedo me tenia a mi, asi era de intenso. Pero gracias a esta informacion que me encontro a mi, he ido superando y trascendiendo el miedo al punto de que ya ni siquiera me acuerdo que tenia miedo alguna vez. Sigue adelante con tu apoyo para los que necesitan y no saben como liberarse . Mil gracias .

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Missing someone

Image
Missing someone You miss someone who you’ve lost – either due to death / a break-up. You miss someone close to you who’s gone away for a while and you’ve been separated by time and space for longer than you’ve ever been. You may even have moments in a day where you miss a person when you walk by something that reminds them of you – even though you know you’re going to be seeing them at the end of the day. There are various moments and reasons for missing someone – and it is okay. What does compromise you, however – is when you either judge the fact that you’re missing someone and suppressing the experience or adding more emotion into the experience of missing someone, where the moment of ‘missing’ transmutes into an emotional experience of sadness, pain, loss, despair and even escalating into a depression. I have been through both extremes in my life – sometimes judging myself for missing someone, other times allowing the missing to become too emotional and there hav...
Read more

Time is always against us…

Image
Time is always against us… I recently read an article about scientists discovering a breakthrough regarding longevity and reversing ageing. This brought up a question within me: if I could reverse my ageing process – would I? If I could live longer, even reach immortality – would I? Wow! There’s so many dimensions to consider within this question, but mainly – I looked at the following: Each person on this earth has the potential to develop their particular skills they are naturally born with or inherently able to cultivate. However, I find such potentials to be inhibited / oppressed by, for example the education systems only rearing individuals into jobs within the World System to survive; but then again, an education and a life / surviving in this world is not guaranteed for all equally due to how Money controls humanity / this earth at the moment. It’s essentially that each person on this earth has not had a chance / opportunity to truly develop themselves, who the...
Read more

A Journey with and through a Room: Moments of Breakthrough

Image
A Journey with and through a Room How a room transformed me, my relationships and my life I am 31. This is my age, yes – but not my definition, my self definition. When you hear me, and within hearing me, also  know me – you will know that when I say “I am 31” I merely speak of age and time, not who I AM as a person within myself. I have for some time been exposed to individuals who define who they are according to age. “I am this / that age – I must be married, have kids, have a place of my own, be ready to retire…” and the list goes on… I oftentimes imagine seeing people who speak like this as a rat in a cage, running on a wheel – the wheel representing age and time, running in circles in their own minds and lives to catch up to time, yet not realising they are creating their relationship with time and age in their minds in the first place!!! Honestly, I have accepted and allowed myself to – (because of how some closest to me in my life, even those who I ha...
Read more