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I'm a Recovering WANT Addict

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I'm a Recovering WANT Addict
My pup Stout a few years ago
I overheard someone say "I WANT that puppy!" when looking through photographs of puppies. The context was playful, because they do have animals of their own already, but expressed the words so as to emphasize the puppies cuteness and appreciation of them.
This opened up an interesting point within me when I heard the words "I WANT that puppy!", the sound in which it was said together with the facial expressions. It took me back to my childhood as well as looking at myself, relationships and life in the present. I looked at how, as children - we were so quick to say "I WANT" due to not having any education / understanding of responsibilities and obligations tied to money and practicality. Interestingly enough, this is a hole we may be still fall into that we dig for ourselves to this day…
Let me share and show what I mean with the above. The moment the individual spoke the words "I WANT tha…

A Journey with and through a Room: Moments of Breakthrough

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A Journey with and through a Room How a room transformed me, my relationships and my life


I am 31. This is my age, yes – but not my definition, my self definition. When you hear me, and within hearing me, also  know me – you will know that when I say “I am 31” I merely speak of age and time, not who I AM as a person within myself.
I have for some time been exposed to individuals who define who they are according to age. “I am this / that age – I must be married, have kids, have a place of my own, be ready to retire…” and the list goes on… I oftentimes imagine seeing people who speak like this as a rat in a cage, running on a wheel – the wheel representing age and time, running in circles in their own minds and lives to catch up to time, yet not realising they are creating their relationship with time and age in their minds in the first place!!!
Honestly, I have accepted and allowed myself to – (because of how some closest to me in my life, even those who I have developed relationshi…

...for now, I am FEAR.

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...for now, I am FEAR.


I’ve been consumed by fear. Fear has become me. Fear attached to everyone and everything that became a part of me, came close with me. I didn’t realise the extent to which fear preoccupied my everyday life thoughts and general experience…showing itself through constant, continuous inner and physical stress, anxiety, nervousness and tension.
Until I stepped back and ask myself: who am I within and as the word FEAR?
I feared losing money. I feared having nothing. I feared losing my pups. I feared losing where I live. I feared losing everyone I lived with / walked a path with. I feared losing my partner. I feared losing everyone I met in my life…I feared dying sooner than I felt I needed to, I feared leaving this world before I had the chance / opportunity to do and say everything I felt I had to, I needed to.
So much fear, all the time, coming up in random moments in my everyday life. Seemingly dispersed in random moments throughout my day, the week, weeks and…

When Learning the Hard Way - Paves the Journey to Self-Change

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A Moment with a Thorn (continued)
This video is a continuation and expansion of my previous post: A Moment with a Thorn
Sometimes we learn about ourselves, relationships and life itself through simple realisations and insights – supporting us in our journey / process of self change. Though, there are the moments where we learn the hard way…lessons about ourselves, relationships and life that we do sometimes need to learn and realise in a way that gives us a proper wake up call so as to ensure we get it, we got it, we see it through and we change.





A Moment with a Thorn

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A Lesson with Nature: Moving with Awareness vs Memory Movement

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A Lesson with Nature: Moving with Awareness vs Memory Movement
This video is based on the post below:




Nature, me, music, pups keeping me company together with Kim Amourette...made for a great morning as everyone on the farm put in a couple of hours to tend to various farm projects and general upkeep. Fascinating also to observe the insect life while I was digging out the old compost around the immediate surrounding areas of the trees to prepare for new fresh compost to be placed...even had me a couple of good (meaning painful!!!) bites from some red ants. Taking me back to childhood memories of being unaware and sitting on a red ants nest lol Reminding me of practical awareness: to move slow, gently removing the old compost in such a way that I give myself and the insects the necessary space and time to move while for a moment having to disturb their habitat with the changes from the old compost to the new. I got bitten by some red ants because I was moving too fast while clearing the …

Remaining Consistent through the Ups and Downs

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Remaining consistent through the Ups and Downs

Sometimes I've faced days where my general mood / experience goes through ups and downs. Other times my body goes through pains / discomforts (such as for example during periods / body not agreeing with food leading to nausea and diarrhoea / the flu starting to rear its head) leading to a physical experience of ups and downs during a day.
Yes, we all go through ‘general’ ups and downs when it comes to your inner experience and physical experience during a day – but not to the extent where it influences / affects your daily responsibilities / priorities. Sometimes, it does occur that your inner / physical experiences affects your daily responsibilities and priorities; but most are in such a state of survival and dependency on work and money: there is no ‘space and time’ to ‘indulge’ in the inner and physical experience and so push through ‘em no matter what. Only giving yourself the time and space ‘allowed’ over weekends or moments thro…