Giving Up in a Moment vs. Standing through the Moment
Giving Up in a Moment vs. Standing through the Moment
Sometimes a point inside yourself in relation to something / someone seems so BIG, the problem so intertwined with many memories / emotions that you don’t know how to deal with it, what to do about it or who you are in relation to it.
I have faced this many times in my life in relation to so many different things – interestingly enough, one thing I learnt was the following: the times I did decide to give up – which was usually done by either walking away from someone / a person and/or just not completing a project / task…that I’d in the future come to face the EXACT SAME problem in a different, yet similar enough way for me to recognise it and go “oh shit, here it is again!”
So, when I started walking process – understanding who I am in relation to giving up together with all the past regrets of walking away / giving up: I changed myself to – whenever I am in a situation or experience with something / someone where I even in the slightest feel like giving up…I stop, I take a breath, look at the problem before me (best I found is to talk it through with someone or write it out for myself), but not only talk about / write out the problem – but find a SOLUTION for it. I don’t anymore accept / allow myself to entertain the walking away / giving up – especially if I am in an emotional reaction towards the problem in me / my life, cause I know I cannot trust my emotional reactions as it does not give me clarity / direct perspective on myself, the person and/or the general problem. We tend to way too quickly give up on ourselves, others and a situation with allowing our judgment to be clouded by emotions.
So, this a reminder: whenever you feel like giving up on something / someone within you / your life and you are emotional about it – take a breath, find a SOLUTION, cause I know as I have experienced for myself – if you don’t face the problem now, it will come up in your life again for you to face. As it may be a specific point for you to learn something about yourself and if you miss that MOMENT of turning a problem into a solution – you miss a moment of growth, learning and development.
So, a gift you can give yourself is changing how you see giving up inside yourself – like, when it comes up, change your perspective and say “ah, okay – so here’s a biggy before me, let me take on this problem, find a solution that is NOT walking away / giving up – but push through it and see what MORE of me I can learn as I face this problem and walk it through into a solution!”
We must return to innocence – like a child LEARNING. Children are always eager to learn, through ups, downs and making mistakes - they push to learn and grow, but somewhere along the lines we lose this motivation to learn and grow within who we are as a person…and I can say one thing: you learn THE MOST about yourself in those moments where you feel like giving up, but instead push through and find SOLUTIONS. So, find that innocence within you – don’t make mistakes personal nor judge yourself for them, don’t give up so easily by just emotionally walking away / throwing things aside – push yourself to discover your strengths by giving yourself the time and space to walk through and face problems rather than running away from them and so running away from yourself and an opportunity to grow, develop and become so much more.
When things escalate inside yourself to the point where you want to give up – it’s tough moving through it, but worth it! It’s tough because you have accepted and allowed yourself to seemingly become so enmeshed within this one experience inside yourself that it makes you believe you have NO other way out / through it – BUT to give into the giving up experience.
This is often what happens with things we create in the mind – it can accumulate into a possession, where all / most our thoughts and emotions are centralised around this ONE problem inside ourselves…the moment this happens, it’s like the very problem takes over to such an extent we lose our awareness, ourselves and so we only see and become the problem.
Because we ‘lose’ ourselves within it all – the problem becoming so big inside ourselves, we then tend to step back inside ourselves, hands up in the air and essentially ‘fall into the hands of the problem’ leading to the decision to give up. Instead of realising it is in these moments where one has to STAND UP and stand through it inside yourself – because it is the very PROCESS of standing up and standing through it where you source within yourself the strength and will to push through, to see it through and within this experience is where you practise and discover expressions and abilities within yourself you would not have realised / seen for yourself if you were you give into the problem and give up.
So, giving up inside yourself is going to PUSH you to want to give up – it seems so easy this way, you know – just give up…and yes, it is easy giving up. However, the consequences for yourself and life experience will not come equally as easy with accepting and allowing yourself to give up…so PUSH through the difficult, the challenge NOW: always remember – you created the problem for yourself in the first place inside yourself, therefore – you have an equal ability and responsibility to yourself to find a solution and live it.
I know “it’s easier said than done”! – I’ve been in these moments MANY times within myself, but the MORE you see yourself through these giving up experiences and instead find a solution through either talking about it / writing about it – you develop a strength, will and stability inside yourself over time to be able to look ‘giving up’ straight in the eye and say “hey old friend, I know you, I see you – I’m ready for you!” lol – so, essentially ‘giving up’ then doesn’t become a point of being able to take you over / possess your mind, but becomes a cross-reference for you of when you accepted and allowed a point / person in your life to become too big a problem in your mind with thoughts and emotions accumulating in relation to it and being able to sit down with yourself, work through the reactions, let them go and find a solution for yourself and the other person / experience.
For more support / assistance with regards to how thoughts and emotions can accumulate into reactions / problems and how to work through them – check out the interview series Self Awareness Steps for the Elite on EQAFE and DIP Lite – a free course assisting and supporting with understanding your own thoughts and emotions and how to direct them!